Sunday, August 9, 2009

Mommy Come Back




My 74 year old mother has been "gone" ever since she had minor surgery on her back on July 17th of this year. Prior to the surgery, she had moments of confusion, but she still, for the most part, was herself.

Each day since then, she is slipping a little further away. I have heard that sometimes anesthesia causes dementia in older people and most of the time they come out of it. I have been waiting. And its not happening. The nursing facility where she is has told me that they don't think she will be "coming back" so to speak. Since she is there for rehabilitation only, plans are going to have to be made for when she is released...for her long term care. My brother and I have found a place for her close to my house. She will be well taken care of there.


Never in my life did I ever stop to think that I would have to deal with something like this. Or maybe I had thought of it, but pushed it to the back of my mind.



My mother and I have had our moments...when she lived with my husband and I for 7 months she almost drove me insane. She was so mean! I spent most of my time being angry with her.



Now when I go to visit her, she looks at me with confusion...like "who are you?". I think she eventually knows who I am...she doesn't call me by name. She has been calling my husband "Bill" who is a friend of my moms. My husband's name is Steve. He never corrects her, he just says "Good Night, Katie"...and she sings out "Good Night, Bill!" I always lean down and kiss her cheek and tell her I love her. She says "I love you too, Sweetie". Does she know me? I don't know. She sits in a wheelchair most of the time, usually out in the hall or at the nurses station. She has a distant look on her face. Mommy...where are you? Please don't go away yet....





14 comments:

Vivienne said...

I am so sorry to hear that there will be no improvement in your mother's health. It must be a very difficult time for you and your family. My thoughts are with you and I am sending hugs down the line.

Judi said...

I am also sorry to hear this. Having gone through a similar situation with my mother, I can empathize with how difficult it can be - emotionally and physically, even financially. Thinking of you.

Serena said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. That must be difficult. My grandfather is dealing with losing his grip on reality, though he still recognizes us at this point and still lives at home, though those days are likely to be numbered.

Its a tough time, but just remember the good moments and that she loves you.

Susan B. Evans said...

That is just the saddest thing! My mother is turning 65 today, and it really makes me think... I hope your mom comes out of it. Stay strong - we'll all be thinking of you and your family :)

Kitten said...

Sending lots of support your way...your post made me very teary...((hugs))

Linda Ellen said...

=( I'm not good at knowing what to say when I hear and read about others' sad news, but I hope your family is well and that a miracle is just around the corner. *hug*

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I'm so sorry! My mother went through a similar situation with her mother, and I wonder if I will endure it, too. (Trouble is - I live on the East coat, my mother the West.)
Just remember the good times together, to keep your spirits from crashing, and keep talking to her as you've always done.

L. Diane Wolfe “Spunk On A Stick”
www.circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com
www.spunkonastick.net
www.thecircleoffriends.net

Miss Remmers said...

My prayers are with your mom and your family. I am so sorry to hear this.

Yvette Kelly said...

Oh Missy.That must be terrible.I am thinking of you lots and praying that she gets better.I have to quickly add this:would you believe I got "prayers" as a verification word.?It must be a sign

Blodeuedd said...

I am so sorry to hear this. My grandmother is the same, and it's hard on my mum.
*hugs*

LuAnn said...

Oh, Missy. I feel so sad for you. Please remember you are ever in my prayers.

Cecile said...

I was thinking about you and your mom the other day. I am still keeping you and your whole family in my prayers. God will not give you what you can not handle. We may think we can not, but only He knows us ~ really knows us. And I believe in my heart that He is with you through all of this. And that is why Hhe gave you us!! To lean on and to count on for support! I know I am only internet... but I am here. Even if it is vent, my email is always open to you and if you want to call, we can arrange that! Just know that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers ~ always~ Cecile

gautami tripathy said...

I will pray that she comes back to you..

Dar said...

Missy, I'm so sorry that there isn't a good outlook for your mom. It's so hard when our parents age and things start going wrong. I'm here for you if you need to talk and I'll keep you all in my prayers.

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin
 
Blog Design by Use Your Imagination Designs Enchanted Neighborhood kit by Irene Alexeeva