Mommy Come Back

My 74 year old mother has been "gone" ever since she had minor surgery on her back on July 17th of this year. Prior to the surgery, she had moments of confusion, but she still, for the most part, was herself.

Each day since then, she is slipping a little further away. I have heard that sometimes anesthesia causes dementia in older people and most of the time they come out of it. I have been waiting. And its not happening. The nursing facility where she is has told me that they don't think she will be "coming back" so to speak. Since she is there for rehabilitation only, plans are going to have to be made for when she is released...for her long term care. My brother and I have found a place for her close to my house. She will be well taken care of there.

Never in my life did I ever stop to think that I would have to deal with something like this. Or maybe I had thought of it, but pushed it to the back of my mind.

My mother and I have had our moments...when she lived with my husband and I for 7 months she almost drove me insane. She was so mean! I spent most of my time being angry with her.

Now when I go to visit her, she looks at me with confusion...like "who are you?". I think she eventually knows who I am...she doesn't call me by name. She has been calling my husband "Bill" who is a friend of my moms. My husband's name is Steve. He never corrects her, he just says "Good Night, Katie"...and she sings out "Good Night, Bill!" I always lean down and kiss her cheek and tell her I love her. She says "I love you too, Sweetie". Does she know me? I don't know. She sits in a wheelchair most of the time, usually out in the hall or at the nurses station. She has a distant look on her face. Mommy...where are you? Please don't go away yet....