I have missed blogging so much. I have not had any extra minutes in days to even fit in a quick post or two.
My brother came in from TN to visit with my mom at the nursing/rehab facility. Things are not getting better, and she did not respond to my brother the way that I thought that she would. At meal times when we were visiting with her, she refused to eat. She has been refusing her physical therapy. Her favorite word is "no". She says no to everything. I am having an extremely difficult time being "the parent" with her, because she still manages to keep me in my place as daughter. I tried to get her to eat yesterday and she screamed at me. I am getting phone calls late into the night that she is falling, and sleeping on the floor, and generally giving everyone at the place a hard time. My brother was here for 3 days, then just flies away back to TN and I am left with this. All I want to do is sleep. When I get up in the morning, I can hardly get up. At work I am tearful. I can't concentrate. I don't know what to do. I went to my medical doctor on Friday. All she did was prescribe me a mild sedative then tells me not to become addicted to them. I guess there wasn't much more that she could do...I don't know what I was expecting. Part of me feels like how am I expected to keep my sanity with this going on? I feel like I can't take any more...not one more day of this. I am angry and sad. I haven't read in well over a week, it is like my life is on hold until my mother passes away. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know I must sound terrible, feeling sorry for myself. I just can't help it. I feel like I am at my wit's end and there is no one to help me.
AND on top of it all, my 3rd column disappeared from my blog over the weekend. I thought if I changed my template that it would re-appear. You can see that it hasn't. I don't have the patience to work on it...I know it looks terrible.
WHAT I’M AFRAID OF by Natasha Farrant
2 hours ago