Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Temporarily Out Of My Mind

I have missed blogging so much. I have not had any extra minutes in days to even fit in a quick post or two.

My brother came in from TN to visit with my mom at the nursing/rehab facility. Things are not getting better, and she did not respond to my brother the way that I thought that she would. At meal times when we were visiting with her, she refused to eat. She has been refusing her physical therapy. Her favorite word is "no". She says no to everything. I am having an extremely difficult time being "the parent" with her, because she still manages to keep me in my place as daughter. I tried to get her to eat yesterday and she screamed at me. I am getting phone calls late into the night that she is falling, and sleeping on the floor, and generally giving everyone at the place a hard time. My brother was here for 3 days, then just flies away back to TN and I am left with this. All I want to do is sleep. When I get up in the morning, I can hardly get up. At work I am tearful. I can't concentrate. I don't know what to do. I went to my medical doctor on Friday. All she did was prescribe me a mild sedative then tells me not to become addicted to them. I guess there wasn't much more that she could do...I don't know what I was expecting. Part of me feels like how am I expected to keep my sanity with this going on? I feel like I can't take any more...not one more day of this. I am angry and sad. I haven't read in well over a week, it is like my life is on hold until my mother passes away. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know I must sound terrible, feeling sorry for myself. I just can't help it. I feel like I am at my wit's end and there is no one to help me.

AND on top of it all, my 3rd column disappeared from my blog over the weekend. I thought if I changed my template that it would re-appear. You can see that it hasn't. I don't have the patience to work on it...I know it looks terrible.


14 comments:

Book Bird Dog said...

Sorry to hear about your mom! Hang in there!

Yvette Kelly said...

Hey the 3rd column looks good still.I am so sorry about your Mom and what you are going through.I don't know if it's possible but try to have a straight 6 hours of sleep.Lack of sleep makes everything feel even worse.And hang in there Missy Im thinking of you
xxx

Myckyee said...

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now. I had similar experiences with both my parents. It's seems silly to say the old cliches about taking time for yourself, etc., but if you can reach out to any organizations in your area that may have services to offer to give you some respite that might be good. Good luck to you.

Scrap girl said...

Missy, I really do feel for you at the moment. You really need a couple of days time out from the situation. Can you brother take over whilst he is here, so you can Hope things improve soon.

Susie said...

Missy, You are going to have to take 1 (just 1) day, to do the things you need to do. Sleep, read, jog, whatever it is that gives you joy and gives you comfort. Tell your mom the day before as your leaving that you will not be there the next day. Tell the rehab/nursing facility that you won't be there. Unless its an emergency, have them direct the calls to your brother. He should be able handle 1 day. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't help anyone else.
You'll continue to be in my thoughts & prayers!

Jessica (BookLover) said...

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers, Missy.

Anna said...

So sorry you have to go through this. ((HUGS)) As for your blog, it looks fine to me. I see three columns.

--Anna
Diary of an Eccentric

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I'm so sorry! My mother went through that with my grandmother - and my uncle lives in the SAME town.
I've found the older my mother gets, the more I play the role of a parent. It's a really odd feeling, isn't it?

L. Diane Wolfe
www.circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com
www.spunkonastick.net
www.thecircleoffriends.net

Kitten said...

(((Missy)))

Saying a prayer for you right now.

Jess said...

Missy,

Don't worry -- your blog always looks great! I am so sorry to hear about your mom -- please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Cecile said...

Oh Missy, I will keep you and your family in my heart, thoughts and prayers. I can only imagine at what you are going through and how hard it is to deal with it all. I know that us telling you to take a day for yourself sounds easy for us... but it is something you must do. My Mom lives with her father (out of 8 kids) and he gets very grouchy when Brooke and I take her shopping with us for the day. And my Mom feels bad that he is home alone. I tell her that is what she has other brother and sisters for. Your brother does not sound very fair to me. I will warp this up on that note. Because I want you to know that you are a brave and strong woman for this!
I know we are "friends", but please if there is anything I can do for you... even if it is pray, please let me know!
alliwantandmorebooks(at)gmail(dot)com
I'm only an email away!

Dar said...

Missy, I'm so sorry you're going through all this. My thoughts are with you...Hugs.

Alexia561 said...

Missy, I'm so sorry that you have to go thru this! My hubby and I went thru something similiar a few years back when his mother moved in with us. She could no longer live on her own and refused to move to assisted living. Felt I was losing my mind at times, so you have my deepest sympathies. Still dealing with the nursing home, but things have settled down as she slides deeper into dementia and is no longer able to make escape attempts. Black humor really helped, but I'm not going to kid you...it's hard. Know that you have a lot of people pulling for you, and take things one day and one crisis at a time. *hugs*

Cecile said...

Anytime honey. I mean it... anytime!! I am email away if you need anything!
I know things will look up!
Still in my thoughts, heart and prayers!

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